Hi Loved Ones,
This month, being the month of Cupid, I will look to love for my blog example. When we watch romantic comedies, we seem to know the order of events. Boy is going to meet girl unexpectedly, they will enjoy each other's company for a while, life will intrude, they will separate, then somehow magically they get together again and against all odds live happily ever after.
What is the belief we hold here...(clue: the blog picture caption says it "Love Trumps All"). PJ I know ;) but an apt one. Let me explain.
These beliefs or automatic thinking we hold so deep in our subconscious start forming during our formative years from our experience with caregivers, culture, tv, society's generic attitudes towards anything we value or deem significant. What one must achieve to be successful in life, how a man/woman should behave, how children must be raised, who takes/shares responsibility for the home/finances, religion etc all are influenced by these and stored as core beliefs or automatic thinking in our subconscious. How large the gap is between the beliefs we hold as truths and reality of our lives is the cause of feelings of failure/hopelessness/dis'ease'.
There is a reason I don’t allow people to talk negatively about themselves when they are being coached by me. Your subconscious is powerful and always listening. It is your guardian and there to protect and guide you. Even people with the best intentions can fall into this trap of negative phrasing:
“I’m so tired, I hope I don’t fall on this last ski run” or “this client has said ‘no’ to the last 3 salespeople, they’ll probably turn me down too”.
When you are so worried about falling, your fixation is not on control or form but on the very thing you want to avoid. Your subconscious hears this and believes you, then sets out to make these things true. The subconscious does not understand "no" or "not" or "don't".
What we can do about it:
Your subconscious mind is always listening to and believes everything you repeatedly say about yourself. When our thoughts become more reasonable, our feelings become brighter. Life is easier. Health is restored by the body's natural tendency to heal and thrive. Relationships become meaningful and fulfilling. Careers and personal goals are easier to achieve. Self confidence grows as we depend on "self" esteem rather than "other" esteem.
This is an important concept to understand as we put down our health, career, relationship, happiness goals for this New Year and set out to make them a reality! What you focus on grows. If you want to know more about the steps I mentioned above or help in achieving your goals with Coaching, Reiki or Hypnosis, I will be glad to assist you (email).
Make this year matter!
The author is an Anxiety & Toxic Manipulation Recovery Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Reiki Master, and Self Healing Expert. She got fed up of being pushed around and bullied and started to educated herself to swim confidently with sharks. An expert on the topic, she now negotiates uncharted territory confidently and is thrilled to share her knowledge with others.