I do not have to earn love. This post is dedicated to the memory of Louise Hay. For most people, cultivating a healthy relationship with one's own self is a lifelong process. It can be daunting to suddenly wake up to the fact that you are living someone else’s life and it has slowly extinguished your passion. No? Not you...think again. The family business, a loved one's passion, your parents' unfulfilled desires, choice of career for the money, first job after school set you on an defined but not chosen career path, etc. Louise Hay was one lady who firmly believed that all illness and unhappiness is a result of not being true to ourselves. I am not advocating everyone give their jobs a heave-ho and jump both feet first into the unknown. But making a plan and taking small baby steps towards it will help. You most probably will ask the inevitable question...what is my calling, what am I destined to do. Just start small, don't worry too much about getting it right. Persist without exception. Soon the path will get clearer. What's more, you will learn more about who you really are in a way your loved ones will never be able to. Improve your own daily self love practice – and lavish a little extra affection on the one person you'll always have on your side: You. Some of Louise Hay's revolutionary thoughts that have helped transform the lives of millions are:
I tip my hat for a woman who remains a leader extraordinaire, role model and visionary! Ttfn, Cheryl.
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8/8/2017 0 Comments Self AcceptanceOur experience of life is what we believe within. It is an out-picturing of our internal unspoken thoughts/hang-ups reflected in the world around us. So for instance, if we are constantly being presented with friends who take advantage of us or significant others that let us down - it means, that is exactly what we are feeling towards ourselves, deep within. Many a time this feeling of unworthiness or not being good enough shows up unconsciously or subconsciously by way of making harmful choices, self-sabotage, codependency, avoiding or numbing painful feelings, procrastinating or striving for perfection, keeping busy, distracted or detaching from reality. The first step on the path of self acceptance is increased awareness. Eckhart Tolle in his book "The Power of Now" calls the world within us the PRIMARY REALITY and the world outside of us the SECONDARY REALITY. What the world around us reflects back to us via friends, family, significant others, health issues, triggers is the PRIMARY REALITY:
We just observe not engage. Embrace the positive with the negative observations. We are worthy of any positives and the negatives are just that. They are not you. Feel loving compassion for our struggles, our flaws, our strengths, our successes and what we have not yet accomplished. This does not mean seeking praise from others or tooting our own horn. It is a deep knowing that being the authentic me is enough to be loved. Compassion and kindness for ourselves in it's own time will translate to compassion, love, forgiveness, trust and respect for all whom we interact with in a kind of inter-conectedness. Instead of fear we will have faith that lest we make a mistake, we will learn from it and grow. In time, we will learn the simple law of projection. Simply by changing what we overtly express or secretly repress; we can change our experience of the external world. We are the co-creators of the life we truly desire to live. Till the next post! Cheryl. When we take the time to remind ourselves of who we are and what we have, we are more likely to have positive emotions and be content with what we have already. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. This new way of looking at life has a ripple effect on how our bodies respond to stress and heal.
Gratitude like happiness has no destination. It is a way of living. It brings peace for today. We are learning to enjoy the journey as it unfolds. Add the practice of gratitude to your daily morning ritual. Set a soothing daily alarm. Avoid your mail, email, TV news and other distractions including talking. In fact, sometimes I lie still just after awaking in the morning and find it the best time to do a quick gratitude check while everyone thinks I am still asleep. This not only sets the tone for my day; it helps me prepare for the events to come - in peace and positivity. Gratitude is easy when the going is good, not so in tough times when you are tired or overwhelmed or sad over some loss. Only continuously looking at the obvious good in our lives each day however small makes it even possible to look at the failures as learning opportunities. the limitations as time to grow or learn patience/persistence, the challenges as what builds strength and character, your present as your will to live, your past as it is what brought you to this moment, your mistakes as opportunities to do things differently! Know you are trying to make a difference in your life and those around you. Say thank you until you mean it. Say thank you for all your experiences good and bad. Send out that feeling to those you are grateful for and bring that feeling inward to honor yourself as well. As gratitude makes you humble, you will feel more kindness and compassion for yourself and for others...which will be the topic for my next post. TTFN Cheryl! 5/18/2017 1 Comment Let's Begin with a Deep Breath...This is my first blog post. Ever. I mulled over what to write for ages. Though contemplative by nature, I am never lacking for words or topics for conversation. But hmm...sermonizing on the world wide web was never on my to-do list. There are a plethora of blogs out there and little ole me had nothing much to add. Then I started my healing journey. And boy what a journey it has been and I guess will continue to be as long as I look at it with wonder. I realize that there will never be a perfect time nor a perfect topic to begin with. The point is just to begin and say something. However unscripted and imperfect it might be and continue from there on. So here it is. We begin with a deep breath :) Remember it is just an unhappy moment or day or time. It is not a bad life. Start checking in with yourself just a few times a day to begin with. Are you holding your breath? Are holding any part of your body stiffly, are your shoulders hunched, is your neck or shoulder muscles aching from stress or face hurting from frowning too much? As you get mindful of your actions - a few times a day stretches into awareness EACH time you are exhibiting a physical response to whatever it is that is stressing you. Then in your mind's eye, go to that place in your mind that brings a smile to your face - that vacation you took, the beach, your favorite arm chair at Barnes & Nobles (do they still have those out?) and breathe out all the stress and pain from your body. Count on the in-breath 1..2..3..4 hold for 1..2..3..4..5..6..7 then breathe it all out 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..! Repeat 5 times. Feel the floor you are standing on or the seat you are sitting on. Feel your body soften into it. And your done. You can do this anywhere. The science behind it with no jargon? We still have our cave-men brain getting activated each time we feel some strong emotional response to a trigger. A trigger is an action or event or person that we do not like. Sometimes triggers are sub-conscious and we are not even aware that our body is responding. We respond to stress by getting ready to fight, flee, fawn or freeze. The hows and whys are really complicated. My take is - to be mindful of when it happens at scheduled times in the day initially; till it becomes a habit. It takes little more than 20 hrs of focused, deliberate practice ie. 45 mins a day or about a month to acquire a new skill according to author, Josh Kaufman. So have loving patience with yourself during this time. Don't try to figure things out, don' t try to get rid of the response, don't try to resolve the issue or deal with forgiving. JUST BREATHE ...Faith Hill & me. |
AuthorThe author is an Anxiety & Toxic Manipulation Recovery Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Reiki Master, and Self Healing Expert. She got fed up of being pushed around and bullied and started to educated herself to swim confidently with sharks. An expert on the topic, she now negotiates uncharted territory confidently and is thrilled to share her knowledge with others. Archives
April 2024
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Jophael Wellness
Reiki, Hypnosis & Anxiety Coaching 300 W. Main Street Bldg. C-6 Northboro, MA 01532 508-571-8765 email: jophaelwellness@gmail.com Insured
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