This is my first blog post. Ever. I mulled over what to write for ages. Though contemplative by nature, I am never lacking for words or topics for conversation. But hmm...sermonizing on the world wide web was never on my to-do list. There are a plethora of blogs out there and little ole me had nothing much to add.
Then I started my healing journey. And boy what a journey it has been and I guess will continue to be as long as I look at it with wonder. I realize that there will never be a perfect time nor a perfect topic to begin with. The point is just to begin and say something. However unscripted and imperfect it might be and continue from there on. So here it is.
We begin with a deep breath :)
Remember it is just an unhappy moment or day or time. It is not a bad life. Start checking in with yourself just a few times a day to begin with. Are you holding your breath? Are holding any part of your body stiffly, are your shoulders hunched, is your neck or shoulder muscles aching from stress or face hurting from frowning too much? As you get mindful of your actions - a few times a day stretches into awareness EACH time you are exhibiting a physical response to whatever it is that is stressing you. Then in your mind's eye, go to that place in your mind that brings a smile to your face - that vacation you took, the beach, your favorite arm chair at Barnes & Nobles (do they still have those out?) and breathe out all the stress and pain from your body. Count on the in-breath 1..2..3..4 hold for 1..2..3..4..5..6..7 then breathe it all out 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..! Repeat 5 times. Feel the floor you are standing on or the seat you are sitting on. Feel your body soften into it. And your done. You can do this anywhere.
The science behind it with no jargon?
We still have our cave-men brain getting activated each time we feel some strong emotional response to a trigger. A trigger is an action or event or person that we do not like. Sometimes triggers are sub-conscious and we are not even aware that our body is responding. We respond to stress by getting ready to fight, flee, fawn or freeze. The hows and whys are really complicated. My take is - to be mindful of when it happens at scheduled times in the day initially; till it becomes a habit. It takes little more than 20 hrs of focused, deliberate practice ie. 45 mins a day or about a month to acquire a new skill according to author, Josh Kaufman. So have loving patience with yourself during this time. Don't try to figure things out, don' t try to get rid of the response, don't try to resolve the issue or deal with forgiving.
...Faith Hill & me.
The author is an Anxiety & Toxic Manipulation Recovery Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Reiki Master, and Self Healing Expert. She got fed up of being pushed around and bullied and started to educated herself to swim confidently with sharks. An expert on the topic, she now negotiates uncharted territory confidently and is thrilled to share her knowledge with others.